Do you think it’s hard to piss off a Belgian? Thanks to these 10 unusual and hilarious lessons, you’ll know how to piss off a Belgian in a very gentle way, but watch out if they retaliate!
1. Say that French fries are French
And let’s not forget chocolate, waffles, Speculoos… No, definitely not, these inventions are not French, but 100% Belgian!
2. Pronounce Brussels with an “x
We don’t even have to comment on that. Dare to pronounce Brussels with an “x” and you’ll end up cursed for eternity.
3. Talking about BHV at a group meal
Ah, the Wallonia/Flanders topic still has a long way to go. That said, you might want to avoid talking geopolitics with Belgians.
4. Arriving late for a business meeting
Belgians are very particular about punctuality (perhaps a little less so in Wallonia). Conversely, don’t try to contact your boss by phone on a Sunday – we like our rest in Belgium!
5. Don’t laugh at Belgian jokes
Seriously, how can you not laugh at Belgian jokes? We’re the kings of humor. In fact, do you know the joke about (okay, let’s stop there).
6. Forgetting that Belgium is a seaside country
OK, we’re not called the flat country for nothing (we’re sorely lacking in mountains). But Belgians are very proud of their North Sea coastline.
7. Correct “septante” by “soixante-dix” and “nonante” by “quatre-vingt-dix” (shame on you, godverdomme).
Dear French people, it’s about time you admitted that “nonante” makes a thousand times more sense than “quatre fois vingt plus dix”… It’s simply logical (we’ll even give you the dictionary link).
8. One cliché after another about Belgium’s regions
No, the people of Antwerp aren’t all egocentric cheapskates, and the people of Knokke don’t all think they’re the Belgian jet set! Let’s stop with the clichés!
9. Hogging Belgian success stories (cuckoo for the French)
No, neither Angèle, Stromae nor Jacques Brel are French! They’re Belgians, and proud of it, just like Django Reinhardt, Lara Fabian and many others!
10. Order a non-alcoholic beer at the bar
Everyone is free to opt for non-alcoholic beverages, but let’s face it, a non-alcoholic beer is a bit like a cake without flour!